Travels with my camera

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

Pinched the above from Pete's blog, well with my personality traits not his of course, it was on the side of his conservative/liberal thing. Sometimes these things are scarily true. By the way, having done the conservative/liberal one I was 100% liberal on some of them. However, it is an american thing, what about Labour???

Well I haven't done any new posts of late, and have been missing again on conference, but this is mainly because I haven't done anything or been anywhere, been thoroughly pissed off with the weather, stuck indoors a lot of the time. At night, there's been so much I wanted to see on tv, and it's always on when all my online friends are on conference. Living alone as I do, I rely a lot on my tv to keep me entertained, and I never seem to be able to concentrate on my favourite type of programmes. I like Big Brother (sorry Pete) but I'm not an addict, I can take it or leave it, I much prefer Celebrity reality things rather than Joe Public, but last night was the first time I actually saw the highlights show. I was appalled at the horrendous bullying of the Scottish guy which forced him to break down and leave the show. I'm not sure I shall watch it again tbh, maybe I will though, just hoping to see them get their just deserts. Wouldn't it be a lovely twist if one of the surprises this time was the winner gets fuck all! I would laugh so much.

My friend came over and spent the day on Tuesday as her car was going to the mechanic who lives here, he used to be her neighbour before she moved last year, and it's thanks to her that I now have a mechanic who I trust completely, who is fairly priced, legit and walking distance away. We took the dogs down to Brechfa forest, and were very lucky that we managed about a 45 minute walk without getting soaked. Got virtually within 10 yards of the car before it started to rain. It's so bloody cold for May though, so even when it isn't pissing down, it's still not overly pleasant outside, and of course everywhere is a horrible sludgy mess. I take some comfort in the fact that for once, it's not just Wales that is getting this crap, its all over the UK by the seems of it.

Yesterday I had to be at the hospital for 9am for my 6 montly check up to see if my diabetes insipidus has progressed any. This involves starvation from 9pm the night before, not even a sip of water, and then I have to have blood and urine tests before I can have anything. It also means that I have to get up at the crack of dawn (well for me it is) to do my birds, guinea pigs, dog etc. before I go, and am so afraid of oversleeping too, that I have a lousy night's kip, thoroughly dehydrated too. To cut a long boring story short, I got to the hospital, sent down for the blood tests and there were already 15 people sitting waiting at sodding 9 oclock! Finally did everything, went back up to see my lovely consultant lady, and then away by about 10. Went shopping to Morrisons and had a coffee and a bit of cake in the cafe there, but by then the headache had started. It got progressively worse, and by the time I got home, had gone to a full-fledged migraine, with nausea, dizzyness and feeling thoroughly crap, so then had to spend most of the afternoon in bed again. I am getting so bloody sick of this, it's every week now, am having at least one lousy day. Poor Emma didn't get a walk again either, but there again, it was raining very heavily most of the time, so I guess we wouldn't have gone far even if I hadn't been feeling terrible. I am so annoyed, because I bought loads of plants and wanted to get them all sorted. I bought some sweet peas to put along the front fence, and some lilies to refresh the ones I already have in my tubs, and some salvia, a clematis to train up the wall, once I buy a bit of trellis, some russian vine to try and regain my privacy along the side of the garden, and another shrub whose name escapes me, but looks nice in the picture! Apart from that, I need to make a small repair to my aviary where the wind has ripped off some of the plastic protection. All of this I can't get done because its always pissing with rain, or I don't feel well, or both.

The guy ploughed the field yesterday. It smells like that vile stench you get in river estuaries. Well I guess that's because the soil is clay, and it doesn't drain, and it's just stinking sludge. Best of luck with his pea crop! I was thinking oh, poor birds, losing all that grass with the insects, but boy, how wrong was I? I looked just now when I let the chickens out, and it's smothered with birds, happily getting worms and all sorts. House sparrows particularly look happy, and yesterday, there were gulls following the plough, and for the first time in ages, some of my bird seed got left, because the jackdaws were eating what comes naturally, so maybe it will be okay after all. The only thing I am worrying about now is whether there will be a bird scarer banger thing going, but time will tell. Shouldn't worry about things until they happen I suppose.

Last, but by no means least, my poor little Maisie hamster finally passed away in her sleep during the night. It's been one of the worst things I have ever had with a pet this time. The poor little devil just hung on so long. For the last three days, she had given up eating, and yesterday, just never moved, apart from breathing. I knew it wouldn't be long, and I feel terrible but because of the hospital and my migraine, I didn't take her to the vets as I had intended to. I don't think she suffered though or was in pain, and I thought it fairer to leave her to die in peace really, than stress her out by taking her in the car to be put to sleep, being handled and terrified, and then a needle stuck in her. Poor, poor little Maisie, she was like a skeleton in the end. I checked up last night too, she wasn't even 2 years old, she would have been 22 months. The best hamster I've ever had for tameness and cuteness. I shan't get another one. I cried buckets before I went to bed last night, I knew she wouldn't make it. I can't believe she went on so long. My other hamster Hazel was fine then wobbly for a couple of days, then died, which was much easier to take.

I've not been sleeping well for days either, keep waking before 6 o'clock. Consequently I am knackered by about 11, so have been going to bed earlier, which means I wake up earlier, it's a vicious circle. This morning I woke at 4.45, tried to go back to sleep but gave up and made a coffee at 5.30. I have been downloading the last two episodes of Lost for this season. I have them to watch now if I like, but feel I ought to get up really, it's actually not raining! I'll eat my cereal and see how I feel. I expect I will want to go back to sleep. Still don't feel that brilliant.

Oh well, that's enough for now.