Travels with my camera

At last I am making time to do this blog. I just don't ever seem to find a gap in my hectic life to sit down and write about all the exciting things I have done just lately (insert sarcastic smiley here) The thing is, I get sidetracked so easily. And I just daren't start browsing through the saved faves on my list, else that's it. Get involved reading and replying to messages, and before I know it, an hour has gone. Also what with the things on the tv at present, and then Yahoo chat at night, and phone calls, it's just becoming impossible to cope with doing this too. Added to which the weather has been so crap that I haven't really done much anyway.

Today it is Bank Holiday Monday, and the weather is more like the end of March than the end of May. The sun has broken through, and we have a bit of blue sky up there now, but it still has a nasty chill in the air, my central heating is still on, albeit a bit lower than it was in February, but I would have hoped for it to be off by this time of year. We've had so much rain that I've been unable to cut the grass for over two weeks now, and it really needs doing around every 5 days to keep it in check. I'm dreading it now, because in some places, it is around 10 inches high, it will take me about 2 hours to cut. But today is the day unless it rains in the next hour or so, I must do it. I must also clean out my aviary, which is another job I dread, because it near breaks my back, as I probably have whinged about before somewhere on this blog. I love the interaction with the birds when I'm out there, but the pain is unbearable sometimes. Oh and I have to also clean out the chickens, the guinea pigs, the car, the house, the dog needs bathing cos she stinks, and there's one or two other bits and pieces in the garden that need sorting. Then after lunch...........!!! You get the picture - I have a thousand and one things that need doing, and here I am still in bed doing this.

My friend Sandi is coming to stay on Thursday - yay - so excited, really looking forward to it, will be lovely to have someone to do stuff with for a few days.

Anyway, this is entitled catch up, so I'd best now state a few things that I've done since last time. I buried my hamster. Made her a nice little grave. I wrapped her in a lot of her nesting material and put her in her little plastic house, taped it all up so nothing gets her, and buried her in the front garden in between Tina and Ghosty two of my cockatiel graves. I have so many out there now, I know exactly where they are though, and I am going to make some little grave stones for them all. I was going to buy a laminator and put a photo of each on them, I may still do that some time.

Saturday I went to Wyevales and bought a nice clematis which was reduced because it's a spring flowering one. The other one I bought from Morrisons last week is a summer one, but is so tiny, it will be years before it looks anything. The price of Wyevales trellis was a joke - they wanted something like £25 for an ordinary piece, so I looked in Focus and spent ages deciding whether to get a fan piece, or a square piece. Decided on the latter as the fan was a bit on the small side. £11.99 for a nice bit. Took it to the car, opened the boot - hmmmmm problem - it was as wide as the car nearly, and as long as the interior. It meant if I had put it completely in and shut the boot, I would have had to drive bent double at the waist and not be able to look out of the windscreen! Shit. So I compromised by having some of it hanging out the back, bungey the boot down, but I still had to drive home leaning sideways with my head crammed against the side window! Lol. Not funny really, if I'd had to slam the brakes on, I would have been decapitated. Added to which I was a bit wary as I had shopping in the boot, and that would have been deposited all over the road I expect. I wouldn't want to drive more than the 12 miles with the tail open either, the smell of diesel was a bit nausiating. I didn't realise my car was so smelly, so apologies to you if you have followed me for any distance. :o)

Yesterday I put up the trellis on the wall using various masonary drills, rawl plugs, hammers, bricks, props and swearing. Handy Andy eat your heart out. Oh yeah, and a spirit level. So for once I did something right. It would have annoyed me for ever if it had been crooked. And I measured it so it was EXACTLY equi-distant between the window and the edge of the wall. I would have killed myself if it wasn't. That is one of my biggest problems. I can't bear things to be out of balance. If I see a picture that isn't exactly level it irritates me beyond belief! I also made my wigwam and planted the sweet peas. I bought two pots of sweet peas, 89p each, and there were 15 in each, wow, I've put a lot along the fence and stapled netting up it, but I have a feeling the slugs will see off most of them, but darent put down pellets (I don't even trust the "friendly" pellets) because of Snuffs, so they will have to take their chances. So I have about 10 in a tub with a wigwam of willow canes and wire, looks quite good, hope they all come up. Took me ages to do though.

Yesterday afternoon, took Emma down to my favourite place by the river, and it was alive with bird song down the pathway from the church as usual. I needed to get away from here for a bit, having been out in the garden most of the morning, I was suffering from "I've-got-a-nice-noisy-strimmer-and-petrol-mower-and-my-dog-can-bark-for-an-hour-without-stopping" syndrome. Doncha just love peaceful Sundays at home in the countryside?? I heard at least 5 Song Thrushes whilst I was there, it was so beautiful. The river was raging though - more like you would see in February/March. Almost to the top of the bank, and brown, and moving very fast. Poor Emma was so disappointed, but no way was she even going to put a paw in it with it being like that. I think she has the sense to know, but I always worry a bit. I actually put her on the lead the other day at the park because I was scared she was going in.

Spent most of the night on the phone either to mum or Sandi so didn't make it to chat. I must end now and it will take a while I expect to post the photos, not that they are very exciting but still....

I'm starving, need my breakfast, and then in the shower and start the day's toil. No way am I going anywhere today that involves driving. Saturday was bad enough. It took me 20 minutes to get out of Morrisons car park and down to the roundabout to get home, a journey which normally takes about 15 seconds. The queue of cars was horrendous in every direction. Where the bloody hell were they all going at 4 o'clock on a Saturday? Too late to be going anywhere, and too early to be going home I would have thought??? Sod going to Carmarthen on a Bank Holiday weekend again. I say that every time though.....

The newt seen on my webcam Saturday night!

Fantastic sunset on Saturday night, the whole sky was orange and blue,

Emma on the bridge wall. Had my foot on the lead, just incase.....

The river raging taken from the bridge

The sweet pea wigwam

The trellis and clematis

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

Pinched the above from Pete's blog, well with my personality traits not his of course, it was on the side of his conservative/liberal thing. Sometimes these things are scarily true. By the way, having done the conservative/liberal one I was 100% liberal on some of them. However, it is an american thing, what about Labour???

Well I haven't done any new posts of late, and have been missing again on conference, but this is mainly because I haven't done anything or been anywhere, been thoroughly pissed off with the weather, stuck indoors a lot of the time. At night, there's been so much I wanted to see on tv, and it's always on when all my online friends are on conference. Living alone as I do, I rely a lot on my tv to keep me entertained, and I never seem to be able to concentrate on my favourite type of programmes. I like Big Brother (sorry Pete) but I'm not an addict, I can take it or leave it, I much prefer Celebrity reality things rather than Joe Public, but last night was the first time I actually saw the highlights show. I was appalled at the horrendous bullying of the Scottish guy which forced him to break down and leave the show. I'm not sure I shall watch it again tbh, maybe I will though, just hoping to see them get their just deserts. Wouldn't it be a lovely twist if one of the surprises this time was the winner gets fuck all! I would laugh so much.

My friend came over and spent the day on Tuesday as her car was going to the mechanic who lives here, he used to be her neighbour before she moved last year, and it's thanks to her that I now have a mechanic who I trust completely, who is fairly priced, legit and walking distance away. We took the dogs down to Brechfa forest, and were very lucky that we managed about a 45 minute walk without getting soaked. Got virtually within 10 yards of the car before it started to rain. It's so bloody cold for May though, so even when it isn't pissing down, it's still not overly pleasant outside, and of course everywhere is a horrible sludgy mess. I take some comfort in the fact that for once, it's not just Wales that is getting this crap, its all over the UK by the seems of it.

Yesterday I had to be at the hospital for 9am for my 6 montly check up to see if my diabetes insipidus has progressed any. This involves starvation from 9pm the night before, not even a sip of water, and then I have to have blood and urine tests before I can have anything. It also means that I have to get up at the crack of dawn (well for me it is) to do my birds, guinea pigs, dog etc. before I go, and am so afraid of oversleeping too, that I have a lousy night's kip, thoroughly dehydrated too. To cut a long boring story short, I got to the hospital, sent down for the blood tests and there were already 15 people sitting waiting at sodding 9 oclock! Finally did everything, went back up to see my lovely consultant lady, and then away by about 10. Went shopping to Morrisons and had a coffee and a bit of cake in the cafe there, but by then the headache had started. It got progressively worse, and by the time I got home, had gone to a full-fledged migraine, with nausea, dizzyness and feeling thoroughly crap, so then had to spend most of the afternoon in bed again. I am getting so bloody sick of this, it's every week now, am having at least one lousy day. Poor Emma didn't get a walk again either, but there again, it was raining very heavily most of the time, so I guess we wouldn't have gone far even if I hadn't been feeling terrible. I am so annoyed, because I bought loads of plants and wanted to get them all sorted. I bought some sweet peas to put along the front fence, and some lilies to refresh the ones I already have in my tubs, and some salvia, a clematis to train up the wall, once I buy a bit of trellis, some russian vine to try and regain my privacy along the side of the garden, and another shrub whose name escapes me, but looks nice in the picture! Apart from that, I need to make a small repair to my aviary where the wind has ripped off some of the plastic protection. All of this I can't get done because its always pissing with rain, or I don't feel well, or both.

The guy ploughed the field yesterday. It smells like that vile stench you get in river estuaries. Well I guess that's because the soil is clay, and it doesn't drain, and it's just stinking sludge. Best of luck with his pea crop! I was thinking oh, poor birds, losing all that grass with the insects, but boy, how wrong was I? I looked just now when I let the chickens out, and it's smothered with birds, happily getting worms and all sorts. House sparrows particularly look happy, and yesterday, there were gulls following the plough, and for the first time in ages, some of my bird seed got left, because the jackdaws were eating what comes naturally, so maybe it will be okay after all. The only thing I am worrying about now is whether there will be a bird scarer banger thing going, but time will tell. Shouldn't worry about things until they happen I suppose.

Last, but by no means least, my poor little Maisie hamster finally passed away in her sleep during the night. It's been one of the worst things I have ever had with a pet this time. The poor little devil just hung on so long. For the last three days, she had given up eating, and yesterday, just never moved, apart from breathing. I knew it wouldn't be long, and I feel terrible but because of the hospital and my migraine, I didn't take her to the vets as I had intended to. I don't think she suffered though or was in pain, and I thought it fairer to leave her to die in peace really, than stress her out by taking her in the car to be put to sleep, being handled and terrified, and then a needle stuck in her. Poor, poor little Maisie, she was like a skeleton in the end. I checked up last night too, she wasn't even 2 years old, she would have been 22 months. The best hamster I've ever had for tameness and cuteness. I shan't get another one. I cried buckets before I went to bed last night, I knew she wouldn't make it. I can't believe she went on so long. My other hamster Hazel was fine then wobbly for a couple of days, then died, which was much easier to take.

I've not been sleeping well for days either, keep waking before 6 o'clock. Consequently I am knackered by about 11, so have been going to bed earlier, which means I wake up earlier, it's a vicious circle. This morning I woke at 4.45, tried to go back to sleep but gave up and made a coffee at 5.30. I have been downloading the last two episodes of Lost for this season. I have them to watch now if I like, but feel I ought to get up really, it's actually not raining! I'll eat my cereal and see how I feel. I expect I will want to go back to sleep. Still don't feel that brilliant.

Oh well, that's enough for now.

Emma woke me up at 5.45 this morning, getting on the bed, and then snoring, and I couldn't get back to sleep. Not funny because I didnt got to bed until about 12.35. I ended up making a coffee at 6.30, did my online quiz, and then watched my episode 22 of Lost at 7 am!

I had to get some shopping today, and was nearly out of food for Snuffles, so thought I'd go to Cilgerran and Cardigan Tescos, also meant I could fill up with diesel and get my clubcard points. (Bloody amazing isn't it, have to do a 52 mile round trip to get fuel on your clubcard - I can't wait for the Carmarthen superstore to be open in November, I pray that they have fuel.....)

Anyway, was in the car and away by 10 am, a world record for me, having fed all the birds in the aviary, and done my feeders etc, and washed up from last night, lol.

My red light was flashing on the way to Cardigan, was a bit worried, but made it. Got my shopping (I had a £3 off coupon to use too, which sort of helped towards the travelling) Filled up with diesel - shit me, £42 worth! I remember when we used to fill our twin tanks of our Camper for less than that, not that long ago either. Its 98.9 a litre here now, cheapest. Disgusting.

Then went down to Cilgerran, by the river, where I posted a lot of pictures from before. I did take the camera again, but the bloody batteries were flat AGAIN! They were on charge all day this week, and I hadn't used it, one of them is sodding faulty - have now chucked it in the bin. Lots of poor trees had come down and were laying in the river, bits of branches everywhere too, it's been so windy this week. It was also pissing with rain for some of the time, but luckily the river walk is completely sheltered by the overhead trees, so didn't get wet The path was really muddy though, Emma got plastered.

We sat in the car and had a doughnut and a cheesey pastry thing, and then I went round to Dog Food Dave's for some more sunflower hearts and cat food. Bugger, he hadn't any of the Morrison's foils left, I took a chance on some blank ones, hope they haven't got fish in them, else Emma will have a year's supply of dinners now.

Came home, and unpacked it all, did the bird feeders again, all empty, and then got on with doing my border with the weedblock, planting my little plants, and then doing the gravel. Looks good even though I say it myself. I just have to get some sort of edging strip down the grass side now I think, to stop grass cuttings going in the stones, and also to act as a bit of a windbreak when the dead leaves come down in the autumn, don't want to be picking them out.

All in all, completely knackered on 5 hours sleep, feeling very tired now, so should have a good night's sleep I hope. Now watching the Eurovision Song Contest, I sure am a glutton for punishment, absolute trash, but I am just waiting to see if that crap we have entered actually gets any points, I hope not. I couldn't believe it when it was chosen by the viewers to represent us. Daz is an arrogant prick, and those awful schoolgirls shrieking all through it make me want to kill someone. In fact I went out to shut the birds in when it came on, else I would have had to mute the tv anyway!

To end on a sad note, I don't think my little hamster is going to last a lot longer. She is now very weak, I am handing her little bits of treat foods, like cheese, apple, and she is taking it into her nest, but I don't think she is eating very much of it. She came out just now, and she is very wobbly and shaky, can hardly walk, exactly like my last two have been - I doubt she has many more days left now. Made me well up with tears, because she is still so sweet and tame, and let me stroke her little head, my others would have bitten me if I'd done that when they were in their nests. I have removed the overhead shelf and her wheel now, so that I can keep an eye on her, she wouldn't have been able to climb up the ladder anymore now. Poor little mite, why couldn't she have been a 3 year one instead of a 2?? It's so unfair the length of their little lives. Her cage is now on the end of the sofa in front of the rad, as I expect she will feel cold with so little movement and food inside her. :o(

Little Maisie when she was younger



Some of my ornaments have a nicer place to sit now :o)

Yesterday, because my car was at the menders (well being serviced but the handbrake was naff apart from a couple of other things) I decided to get stuck in and do my long awaited border down the side of the path in the front garden. The previous day I'd bought my weedblock from the garden centre, and a big 70 litre bag of compost to dig in. I got stuck in, got my piece of string set up so I could get it straight and proceeded with the spade and wheelbarrow. The wheelbarrowing the turf round to the back was the worst bit, there's a bloody obstacle course trying to get past the big bush in the gateway, then turn the corner without ripping all the skin of your knuckles on the house walls, then up the path past various bushes and stuff. Then try not to kill the chicken as she gets in the way all the time as you unload because she's starving and wants to eat at least 2,000 worms. Anyway, I eventually got it all off, the turf I managed to lose most of down a rickety gulley at the back by the shed, and then I sprinkled the compost on top and spread it all. I stood back and was pretty pleased with my work. Trouble was, I then decided I really ought to do the other bit which runs along the front of the house, this bit is really a load of clay, it never drains, so here I will need to put water plants I think, like reeds which like being round a pond. However, although I have now left the string in place, I think it may be a while before I get round to doing it, because I am in agony today. I ache all over, my arms, legs and back particularly. I get so fed up that I can't do things anymore without suffering hell afterwards.

Oh well, I managed to walk up the road and get my car back. Had to have a new wheel bearing and handbrake cables, plus the service. The back brakes need doing too he reckons, but they are working okay, and not an mot failure, so is leaving them for now. I will apparently need new shoes and drums. Shit, sounds expensive. :( Oh and the two rear tyres will probably need replacing too before the MOT so I have till September to save up.

I wanted to get on with the border, put down the weedblock and the pebbles which I have sitting in the boot of the car now, along with nine lovely little plants but it's been pissing with rain since half past three now, so think I will have to forget it for today. I just hope that sodding cat doesn't come back and shit in there again tonight - I found a huge heap right in amongst the compost this morning. I nearly put my hand in it. Sodding things. At least Emma does it on the lawn and I can see it.

Oh well, now the good news, the USB extension lead came this morning, fantastic service, thank you Mr USB, and I now have my webcam working in the porch and am able to sit on my sofa and watch it, instead of just inside the doorway, which will help my aches and pains no end. There is still a slight problem with this, because when I turn my laptop off, next time I go to switch the cam on, it wont recognise it,and I have to reinstall the driver again - this happened before, but it only takes about 1 minute, so I will have to try and leave the pc on if I am going to use it much. Weird fault though, I have been looking on websites to see what the error message means, it seems a lot of people have this problem, but nobody on the forums I saw had any conclusive solution to it.

When I was down the builders merchants, buying my bags of stones, I saw two tiny snuffettes, so Mr & Mrs Snuffette have their little family already. :o)

Christ where has today gone? It's time to do the guinea pigs teas and mine already, I am currently downloading episode 22 of Lost, don't know when I shall watch it though with American Idol and Big Brother on tonight.... hey ho, what an exciting life I lead.

My new border, just waiting for the rain to stop (and the gale which is covering it in leaves, it's more like October here already)

The string in place for the next torture trial

Mr & Mrs Snuffette with the mini Snuffettes

Just when I though everything had settled down, including my nerves, and things couldn't possibly get anywhere near as bad as they were on Saturday, I was proved wrong yet again. Yesterday evening, I spoke to the farmer who is now using the field, and found out for sure that he is not going to take any of the tops or foliage off the trees along my boundary - he reckons he is not insured to do so, and I must get in touch with the council if I want any lopped. So I kind of resigned myself to a future of no sun in the garden in the summer, only when there are no leaves on the trees, and would try to do something to make a windbreak along the top of the bank to regain my privacy. Okay, no sweat. So this morning I wake up to hear he is at it already with the tractor doing something. At 8 oclock I went out to let the chickens out to be hit by that hideous smell of slurry. For those non-country folk amongst you, slurry is basically, cow shit. It is kept in slurry pits and sucked up into a tank which is then trailed round farmland and sprayed everywhere as fertiliser. The smell is, as you can imagine, breathtaking. In fact, it makes me heave. To find that this activity is going on 20 feet away from your house, and in fact is being sprayed up your hedge would be bad enough for anyone to take. But there's worse to come. The noise of the machine which is doing the dreaded deed is making a sound equal to that of a 747 taking off. The ground is shaking, my eardrums are screaming, and so are all my poor birds. Of course, I now will have to contend with smells and noise on a regular basis, as the farmer is now going to plough, furrow and till (or whatever they do) and plant PEAS! Followed by TURNIPS! so it's gone from a lovely bit of meadowland, which is normally quiet and covered in beautiful buttercups, with swifts and swallows and housemartins swooping down on the insects there, to a mud heap. No doubt it will be him that has been using the bird scarers that I have heard bang bang banging in the not too distance - I have that to look forward to as well. What a lovely summer I am in for.

I decided to go out. I had to get away from it. So I thought as I won't have the car tomorrow as it's going to be serviced, and have a couple of things sorted, I would go get some weed block and compost and have a go at doing that long-awaited border along the front path in the garden. So in order to thwart me yet again, (and when will I learn to keep my big mouth shut?) it then decided to piss with rain. And it has done so, torrentially at times since about 11 oclock today. It's now 6.15 pm and is still torrenting down. My garden is under about 4 inches of water as usual, the drains can't cope with what is coming down off the roof, so what is collecting on the paths has no chance. I did my feeders when I got back and got drowned.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I went out to Lampeter to purchase my gardening items, and then called in on my ex neighbour for a chinwag and a couple of cups of tea. I took Emma for a walk in the middle of that, and we both got soaked, but I so wanted to go to the woodland on the outskirts of Lampeter and see the bluebells. Took a few pictures, but the rain has got on the lens of the camera, and only two of them were worth saving :-(

I also bought a friend for Mrs Snuffles (the little pottery hedgehog I bought a couple of weeks ago, that my Mr Snuffles seems totally unimpressed with. ) I decided she looked lonely out there in the porch now, so have bought her a new companion. I have decided to call them The Snuffettes.

Must go now, there's some men in white coats at the door...........

Why won't this sodding website load photos any more? I have logged out, in, republished and edited six effing times now, and it still won't take my pictures! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr pissing thing.

Hoo bloody ray, nearly midnight, and having tried about 20 times, at last my pictures will load.

Introducing Mr Snuffette

Mr and Mrs Snuffette, I'm hoping to hear the patter of mini Snuffettes' paws in the near future....







For future reference, I have just found out what the problem is with loading photos (I think/hope) I just tried again this morning, and it still wouldn't do it. So I checked the properties and they were exactly the same size/type as the Snuffettes ones that did work last night. So then I tried just any old picture, and that loaded within 20 secs. So I had an idea - maybe the title of my picture was too long - I then renamed it to a shorter version, and hey presto, all three pictures loaded within 20 seconds each. Seems weird to me, but hopefully that will solve it, and no need to give me increased blood pressure ever again..... :o)

Well just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they sure did today. After my weekend from hell, details of which I can't be arsed to go into in great detail, suffice to say West Ham lost in the cup final, a farmer ripped down all the trees and bushes along my boundary and left me exposed to the elements and prying eyes, and not at all what was told to me by the council, which was supposed to be a laid-down hedge, instead he has just thinned it all out, and still left the thirty feet height which blots out all the sun, and fills my garden with dead leaves by the skip load in the autumn, and worst of all, my little hamster Maisie is on her last days I think, she hasn't moved out of her nest for days, and has hardly eaten a thing, only one or two bits of apple and a bean when I handed it to her. :-(

So today I wake up with one of my bad heads from hell. I am getting these more and more often now, probably at least once a week. Some of them are worse than others. Sometimes, I can take a migraine pill, and it will go away without trace. Sometimes, I need to follow up with a paracetemol Xtra after a couple of hours, and I feel okay. Today was a medium one, where it doesn't go away, and I feel very sick, ache all over, have a sore throat and an upset stomach. The worst ones are the Category 3, when I have all of the above, and I can't do anything at all, cannot even stand up, spend half the day on the loo actually being sick, sweat profusely, followed by shuddering with cold, and it lasts a couple of days, during which time I can't keep anything down, and manage to lose about 4lbs in weight (every cloud has a silver lining...) At these times, I feel like I am dying, and end up wishing I could. So as I said, today was the medium one. I managed to do my birds, clean out the guinea pigs but then had to take to my bed for the afternoon. I thought I may feel better if I had something to eat, but I opened the fridge at lunchtime, and one look at the contents made me instantly heave, so gave up on the idea. Poor Emma hasn't had a walk today, but she doesn't seem bothered, that's the one advantage with this breed of dog, they are happy to walk 5 miles with you, or just as happy to be asleep on your lap.

Today the weather has been attrocious too, it has been raining and misty virtually all day, and turned cold again. The house is freezing, I have had to put the electric heater on in the living room and the oil filled rad in the kitchen just to try and get a bit of warmth in here. That's the trouble with these sodding electric storage heaters I am lumbered with. You have to have them on between midnight and 7 am to charge up, when the economy 7 is on. I have had them turned off for about a week now as it's been warm enough, but of course when it turns cold overnight, you are stuffed. Its better to have them on and open the windows to let it out I suppose, but they cost a bloody fortune to run, I was spending over £20 a week during the winter, its down to about £7 since I turned them off. :-( Have switched them on to come on tonight though, so can guarantee it will turn hot again I suppose, although the forecast isn't good for the rest of the week. Something to really look forward to. So today has been one of my not speaking to a living soul days, I have only been outside about 4 times to do the bird feeders and let out the chickens and shut them back in tonight.

Oh of course, because I had a bad head, the farmer was working with his JCB and caterpillar tractor thing right by my garden for a good hour earlier as I was laying on my death bed.

Another beautiful hot, sunny day. I decided to do some washing. No sooner had the last spin finished, a black cloud appeared and blocked out the sun! No worries, it soon passed over, but there were a few around. So I decided that I would do a quick dash at Morrisons, but make it a trip out and take Emma to Green Castle woods again, to see if the bluebells were out.

I took a picnic lunch, which we ate as soon as we got there, and then headed off for the walk. Took a few more pictures, the bluebells were out, as were some campion which are very pretty. Emma was very hot and panting a lot so I took it steady. Mind you up the slope it was quite easy to take it steady, the extra weight I have put on this year certainly is telling on my stamina.

Anyhow, very nice walk, lots of loud claps of thunder though. Went to Morrisons, left all four windows open as far as I dare, and parked in the shade under a tree, and bought just the basics, whizzed round and out in about 15 minutes I think, bought lots of salad stuff (I've had jacket spud and salad three nights running now, yum) Drove out of Carmarthen and got about halfway home and the sky was black, the roads were wet - yes it had poured with rain, yet none two miles down the road, weird or what. So I came home to 8 soaking wet sweatshirts and t-shirts, plus undies all wetter than when I put them out. It was pointless bringing them in as the heating is off and I hate having wet washing hanging about indoors, this place is so small. But now the good news - it all cleared, the sun came out again about 4.30 and its now a fabulous sunny and warm evening, and it all dried good enough to hang up and put away. :o) I've always had this bad luck with the weather, mum always laughs and remembers when I was taxi driving, I used to have Wednesdays off, and you could guarantee that six days a week were fine and sunny, but Wednesdays it would always piss down with rain. Then I changed shifts, and had Tuesdays off instead, but I wasn't able to fool him up there, it then used to piss down on Tuesdays instead. I'm like that character in the cartoon The Perishers, which I used to read avidly when I was younger, in the Daily Mirror. Marlon, I think it is, always had a black cloud over his head, raining on him wherever he went! Another one from that used to crack me up - Dirty McSquirty, a smelly boy who had a cloud of flies following him, haha!

I am definitely going to come off the antidepressants, I have already cut back down to two tablets instead of three, will do this for a couple more nights, then I'm going down to one, and then off. I was reading the list of side effects today, and I now realise that they definitely are not agreeing with me, apart from not doing what they are supposed to do. I have put on about 4 lbs in weight in the month I've been on them, and am not eating any more than normal. Now I know that doesn't seem a lot, but when I am now about 9 lbs heavier than I was this time last year, its making me even more depressed that all the jeans that I had discarded because they were too big, are now too small, they are killing me round the waist and hips, and it just won't do. I need to do something about it now before it gets out of hand, I am a stone heavier than I want to be. :-(

I was just flicking round to see what's on tv, I want to see the Ray Winstone new football thing at 9 oclock, but I have struck oil and found Russell Watson on ITV3. I fell in love with him on that celebrity singing thingy, and I was going to buy an album of his, (or at least download some tracks *cough* ) and never got round to it. Mum loves him too, so I am recording it and will run her off a video, so far it's brilliant, just a shame its ITV and bloody adverts, have to keep grabbing the remote and trying to cut them out. It's quite an old concert I think the guy said at the beginning it was 2000 and its from Adelaide, outdoors. I love a bit of opera, I guess its in my top three of types of music I like to listen too. I like Il Divo, I bought their first album. If I could have done anything in my life (like be granted a wish) I would have loved to have been an opera singer. I weep buckets at listening to anything by Puccini. I have a brilliant Maria Callas album and enjoy the usual Three Tenors stuff too. I'd love to go to a concert and hear them live, I don't particularly think I would enjoy a whole opera though, just the popular lighter stuff really.

Well time to post some piccies from today. I don't know when I'm going to shut in the birds and clear up tonight, cos this Russell thing goes on until the football thing starts. It's a pain the time it gets dark at this time of year, well awkward, I've always been stuffed like that, when we used to keep lots of chickens, could never go out of an evening in the summer because of shutting them in safe, time they went in, it was too late to go out!


I'll have to try with the pictures later, it wont have it again. I'm getting fed up with this blogger, I may look at using a different one before long I think. It takes for ever to apparently load the picture, and then it's not there, not bloody funny when you want to do about 6 or more. I have tried 5 times now, sodding thing.

Hot dog

Bluebells, the aroma was lovely





Emma just loves to pose.



View across the valley from the top of the walk

Lol, I saw this on Anna's blog, and tried it for me - a good start to the day, made me laugh out loud, not a thing I do very often.



How's this for service? My mower blade is buggered, so many stones in the garden on my long stretch of grass down the side (thanks to the chicken mainly scratching them out of everywhere) A new one for my Qualcast costs £14.99, I bought one at the start of last season, and it's chipped and blunt. So I thought I'd have a quick look on eBay yesterday and tried several search options before I struck lucky - a buy it now for £3.00 !! Weeeeeeeeee. £1.75 postage, 3-5 days delivery. That'll do nicely. It just arrived! Bought it about2pm yesterday, and in my hands at 9.15am the next day. I think eBay is wonderful, so many people seem to diss it and have had bad experiences, but I have purchased over a hundred items now, and only once had to chivvy someone up because I didn't receive my purchase after about 14 days. Most stuff I get within two or three days. Bloody wonderful invention I think. And I've saved myself ten quid. Wow, and what's more, let's big up Royal Mail, 10 out of 10 for them too, I just looked, and this parcel was sent 2nd Class mail! Amazing, I thought that's what the buyer had stated too, how fantastic is that! It clears has a big "2" on the postage sticker. :D

Shopping today, Emma will have to stay behind sadly, will be too hot to leave her in the car, even for half an hour or so. I hate leaving her, and it also means I have to come home unload the car, and then go out again with her, that's the only snag about the summer. More later I expect ....

Today, as mentioned earlier, was a lovely, warm day. It was 21c outside at 12.30, although not really sunny, ideal weather to put my guinea pigs out for a graze. So I got the wire run out of the shed, took out the piggies. Sat down at the patio table and thought, ooooh Chippy would like to be out here, so brought him out in his cage too. Then thought, I'll do a bite to eat and sit out here and watch my pets enjoying themselves. Ate my toast and salad, my apple and made a coffee. Halfway through the coffee I looked up to watch the swifts overhead, and got an eyeful of water (No, not poo!) A rain drop. Within seconds there were a lot of raindrops. And then a torrential lot of raindrops. Sodding hell, ran and put the coffee indoors, ran back and got the guinea pigs, and brought them back in, then ran back and got Chippy, (who was quite enjoying the shower I think) Then the rain stopped. And it turned into a gorgeous afternoon, very hot. I didn't go shopping - too hot. I just took Emma down the local park and for a splash about in the river, then came home and cut the grass ( all of it for the first time, I've been doing it in bits normally) It was really long at the front, and it's only been just over a week too, at least 4inches high.

In between the walk and the grass cutting, as is my norm, I switched on the tv to watch Deal or No Deal. Now please tell me I'm not going mad. Turned on tv, turned on Sky box - picture, but silence. Changed to another channel, still silence. Turned to a normal terrestial channel, still silence. Hell, the tv has lost the sound! Shit. I was on the phone last night from 9 oclock till nearly midnite, my mate Sandi rang, so I had the tv on mute all this time. So of course, assumed something had jammed up. Kept pressing the mute on and off on the remote, then turned everything off, then back on, waggled a few leads. Then gave up and rushed into the bedroom to watch it in there. As it turned out, I should do that more often, because the tv is one of the LCD ones that I treated myself to last year, and hardly use. Great picture, and it was nice to laze on the bed to watch DoND for a change, my bedroom is lovely in the afternoon too, the sun is round there and it's bright and warm. Anyway, after it had finished, I thought I'd take another quick look at tv in living room again, and maybe post a HELP! message on the internet forum I use. So as I switched it on, I just heard the lowest ever sound, pressed the volume button - (insert very embarrassed smiley here)I had turned the volume down, not only muting it last night, but actually turned the bloody volume down. What a stupid cow I am!

Now we are about to have one hell of a thunderstorm by the sounds of things, there were a few rumbles of thunder earlier, but they are getting more frequent now, and the sky is a bit black! Hope we don't lose the power, cos that's what normally happens here - thunder and lightening means electric goes off. Like living in the 60s still you know (or so my mum says) She can't believe we don't have gas here, thinks we are very primitive don't you know!

Oh well, I am just starting to watch Pearl Harbour, not sure if I will stick with it or not, have never seen it and I normally like this sort of film. I am terrible with films though, they have to be excellent to hold my attention.

Oh one bit of birdy news - my little Marsh or Willow tit is back - haven't seen him/her for months, are they migratory I wonder? It's quite tame, flew right past me in the garden to go down to the sunflower hearts I throw under the holly bush (mainly for the dunnocks and robin) Cute little bird. I was convinced it was a Marsh Tit but when I posted the photo on bbf, someone said it was a WT.

I guess my birdies will be going in earlier tonight, as its quite dark here, and it also looks like its about to rain, so will end now and go prepare my hogs food dishes.

This is my Chippy, he's sitting on the peg outside his cage at this moment chattering away, he is the best talking budgie I've ever had, and is very comical.

The Marsh or Willow Tit - anyone any opinions? This is the picture from last year, but its still the same bird (or a very close relative)

I never seem to have time (or the inclination) to write this up in the evenings the last few days, so I thought I'd do it this morning for a change. Haven't done much really, thats another reason why I haven't bothered. Monday was an interesting day for me. I met one of my neighbours for the first time, (after all, I've only lived here nearly six years!) The reason for this was quite strange. I let Emma out into the front garden about 12 oclock lunchtime, and there was a little West Highland White dog in my neigbours garden, sniffing round. Her garden and the one belonging to the other old lady at the end of the row of three is not fenced off. Neither is the gate ever shut on the end as it's a sort of walk through to the back of their bungalows, shared access I guess it's called. So this dog looks like a stray, she doesn't have visitors with dogs. So I spoke to it, and it ran off across the gardens. So I went down the path to see where it went, and it went in the road! It then went right down the cul-de-sac and into a garden. Seemed to know where it belonged, but I thought I'd knock on the door anyway. Did so, no answer. Great I thought, they've gone out, left the dog out and someone has left the gate open. So I went next door and knocked to ask, no answer. So in desperation, I tried the next one along, and success. The husband came to the door, he's deaf and very Welsh and didn't understand what I was saying. Thankfully, his wife then came, who not wishing to be cruel, looks about 20 years younger, and was English, lol, so we got somewhere at last! We both went to the dog's house, and suddenly a bedroom window was opened, she was in! Still in bloody bed I think, it was now nearly 1 oclock! The poor dog broke my heart too, it had a really bad ear infection, brown gunge oozing out. ALso looked like she'd not been brushed for about a year. Makes me sick. Anyhow, she reckons it's being treated by the vet, so what can you say? I have already fallen out with two sets of neighbours here over birds/cats, so left it at that. So the neighbour who accompanied me turns out to be one I get a christmas card from every year, (we do that here) She is a very keen gardener, and took me round the back to show me her veg plot! She also kindly gave me some plants for my garden, so I must now make the effort and do that other border that I've been thinking of doing in the front for the last couple of years. We got on really well, and she said to come round for coffee whenever I like, and she'd like to see my garden! Shriek, she won't be impressed. She also feeds the birds, and reckons there is an owl down there at night, and she has also heard a cuckoo! So I am keeping my ears open everytime now, and I almost thought I heard it yesterday too, but a plane went over so couldn't hear sod all for about 5 minutes! So it looks like I have made a new friend.

There now, that was exciting, wasn't it. Even more exciting was that I actually managed to clean my aviary out yesterday. Its a job I find every excuse under the sun to put off for as long as possible. Its either too hot, too cold, too wet, too late and the birds are all inside and I dont want to disturb them, or I don't feel well..... etc. Mainly because it hurts so much to bend over and scrape and sweep and carry the bucket and bin bag full of stuff when I've done it. I am okay if I actually crawl around on the shed floor to do it, but as you can imagine that's not very pleasant, but I do it. Outside in the flight though is what really gets me, my back is agony. :(

Yesterday I went over to my friend Pats for the afternoon, and took the dogs for a walk, just the road walk this time, because she was looking after her grandson, and you can't go down the woodland walk with the buggy - he will be one year old in a couple of weeks, and is so very cute, makes me very broody. I love babies. Hate kids though, lose all interest once they start walking and talking. He's still crawling and googing and the moment! He can stand but can't take any steps without falling over so far. Emma was very suspicious of him, she hadn't had a baby crawling around on the floor at her level before, and when he started crying, she was rushing round looking to see where the noise was coming from!


Oh well, I will leave it at that for now, not sure what I'm going to do today, I should do some cleaning, gardening etc but also need to go shopping. It's a lovely day out there now that the fog has lifted. I woke up with a splitting headache again though today, but took a pill and it has practically gone now, still don't feel brilliant though. I really need to get my arse into gear and do that bto bird survey route. I have put it off so long, the forms the BTO send are so bloody complicated, even the guy who has sent them says so. He says to photograph the route and he will fill it in for me if I like. I think it may come to that. They want to know every little tree, blade of grass, plant either side of the route for every ten meters or something. Sod it, I wish I'd never got involved now. Hate admitting defeat, but it's way too complicated the way my brain is at present.

Oh well, better get on and do something anyway. More exciting news later probably....

I've been deliberating whether to write everything down today, as I'm not looking for sympathy (honest) but I am feeling very low today. In fact, I sat in the garden with my morning coffee and cried my eyes out all over my Emma. If anything, I think these antidepressants seem to be having the opposite effect, or at least having no effect at all maybe. All they are doing are making me incredibly drowsy, and very lethargic. I just can't be bothered to do anything. I can't even wake up properly till lunch time. I can't remember things from one minute to the next. I can't concentrate on anything important, and I am despondent beyond belief. I look around everywhere and things need doing, things that aren't that important, but more an irritant than anything, like the back door outside is filthy. I was sitting at the bench looking at it. It's plastic, half-glazed, and every time it rains, it gets splashed with mud. It looks terrible. It would take about 2 minutes to clean, but I just sit staring at it, and think, I'll do it sometime. It's the same with everything. I said I will give the pills another week, but I really don't know if I can do that.

What started me off was on a forum yesterday, someone posted that they had lost their dog, their poorly 15 year old dog had escaped from the garden and had been missing all night. It was on medication, had been terribly ill treated as a pup, was a rescue dog that they had for 14 years, and this person was so distraught, it made me cry. So I didn't dare look again until this morning, and then I cried tears of relief - they had found her. A few posts further down, someone else reported that they had seen a boy beating his dog with it's chain lead and it screamed, so she intervened and said something quite civil, and was told to eff off bitch. I wish I hadn't read that, because the image of this poor dog, and other poor dogs the world over won't now leave my mind. I sobbed unreservedly as I hugged my own dog, she is my life, I have built my world around her, and I really don't know what I shall do the day I lose her. I am crying again now, just typing these words.

Why can't I just live for now? All I can think of is the past, how happy I was at various stages of my life, how I never appreciated what I had, and took things and people for granted. All I can think of is the future too, and am full of dread for what is inevitable. Death, pain, heartache, loneliness. If I think of the present, I can only see the evil there is in the world, the scum that are polluting our world. Why am I like this? What is causing my head to be so messed up? I didn't used to be like this, nothing ever bothered me. Now everything bothers me. I can't deal with anything logically anymore. I just keep putting things off, important things, and hope they will go away. I just don't know what the answer is for me either. I feel so very lonely sometimes, wanting to share things with someone, nice scenery, things that the birds or pets do that are comical, all the lovely places there are round here, and yet I don't want anyone, I don't want to be close to anyone again, I prefer to do my own thing, be spontaneous, do what I like, when I like. Why can't I be happy that I am doing just that?

Okay, so that was this morning. I managed to pull myself together to take Emma out, she so looks forward to it. I went to Maesycrugiau, which is my favourite place in Wales, which I have posted pictures of before on here, but today, I tried to take a few different ones. I hoped there wouldn't be anyone else there, and I was lucky. I'm not in the mood for chattering today. In fact, apart from saying Hello and Thank you to a shop assistant on Friday, I haven't spoken to anyone now since Thursday mid afternoon.

Anyway, here's some more pictures. I disturbed a heron under the bridge, it took off and parked further down river. I tried to get closer, but it went even further away, they are very timid birds aren't they? I took a photo, you can probably make it out, this camera doesn't do close-ups. Another Heron flew in and went into the top of a tree just above where this one is. Maybe they are a nesting pair, I couldn't see a nest though. I heard chiff chaffs today too, no sign of the Mistle Thrushes I saw last week. The fields of yellow dandelions are now fields of white where they have all gone to seed. I remember as a kid we used to tell the time with these - however many blows it took to get all the floating spores off, then that meant it was the time! Yeah right.

I hope I can cheer up a bit before I speak to mum on the phone shortly, she can always sense if I have a problem. She doesn't know anything about this depression, she worries to much about me as it is and all my other health problems, so she doesn't need this extra stuff.



The gorse looks lovely all in bloom.

The derelict woodcutter's cottage. When Barry and I first discovered this place about '95, we commented on how lovely it was to find something like this in the middle of nowhere that hadn't been vandalised. All the glass was intact in the windows, you could open the door and look inside, and there were still benches, chairs etc, it was like a time-warp. Sadly now, the scum have found the place and wrecked it.

The rapids

The Heron

My favourite bridge again.

I took little Graham with me for a run out. He's made lots of new friends with all the other little toys I have on my car dashboard. Taking this photo is about the only thing that's made me smile today!

Woo hoo, managed another day without speaking to anyone! Had a close shave though, when I was out for the walk. Almost back to the car, and looked round and saw a woman closing in on me with her dog. I had to make a dash for the car, and drive off quick incase she spoke to me! I really am mental aren't I?

I spent the morning fiddling around with plants. I put some seeds in about 10 days ago I suppose it was now, tomatoes, runner beans and geraniums that mum gave me. All have gone mad and I needed to re-pot the toms and geraniums into individual cells. As it was, I broke two of the geranium seedlings. Felt awful, felt like a murderer. Then I stapled the zip back onto the plastic on my "greenhouse" I have one of those 6x4 plastic ones. I bought one from Argos the summer before last, and the plastic didn't even last the summer, it tore everywhere, mind you I didn't help much by mowing it round the edges. It should really be sited onto a paved base I think, but bodger being my middle name, never do anything right. So last year, Morrisons were doing the same greenhouse for £19.99. A real bargain, all that framework, staging and the plastic for that money. So I just used the cover over my original one, but that too has had to have some major repairs, but its still pretty good. Last year, I had a bumper crop of strawberries, tomatoes and cucumbers in there. So my little seedlings are still peeny, and have to live indoors for the best part of this month I think. I wish I had started the runner beans earlier though, they are going to be a bit late. This time last year I was planting them out in my tub and wigwam, already trying to climb. Now they are barely through the soil. Oh well, I only really grow them for the guinea pigs, and I don't even know if my two girls like them being as they are only a few months old still.

So after lunch couldn't decide where to go, didn't fancy going far, so went to the woods again at Coed y Foel. I went there with Pat and Ben on Monday, and we did the circular walk, which involves quite a bit of uphill slogging, but I enjoyed it. You end up about halfway up the valley actually, but I still reckon it must be about 200 feet up. I took the camera, but only my cheapy one that I keep in the car, and am most pissed off because I took some close up pictures of wild flowers to identify and they are useless, came out very blurred. I also took a few of a particular breed of beetle that are in abundance in there (and also at other woodland walks I have been on just lately) I am trying to find out what type they are, and if they have some strange life cycle, because the ones I have come across have either been dead or appearing to be about to die. They are about one inch long, but the most wonderful fluorescent bluey colour underneath. They are normally found flailing around on their backs, and when you tip them back up the right way, they do a couple of inches and then go over again. Very strange. I also saw a little tree creeper again, plus a wren, blackbirds, chaffinches, and at the very end, near the farm and almost back to the car, looked up as I could hear tit-like chattering, and it was a lovely little long-tailed tit. Such pretty little birds. When I was about a mile from the car on the outward journey, it pissed down with rain, and the trees in this wood are still naked, only holly bushes scattered around so I shelted under one of these as best I could, had to squat down though, they are only low! Luckily it stopped after about 3 or 4 minutes and didn't get too wet really, just a bit damp! Lots of bluebells out now, the aroma was nice. I took some pictures of another flower which is covering a lot of the ground there, but as I say they have come out all blurred, so am none the wiser as to what they are. I also took a picture of a nest box which is up one of the trees, it's around 3 feet in length and has an open front of about 1 foot - anyone got any ideas what species it would be for? Or I may email the Woodland Trust and ask them, after all I am a member.

Can't think of anything else today really, so will post a few pictures which did come out okay, and introduce you all to Graham :o)

The nestbox


Looking down the hillside at the carpet of the mystery plant......

Emma looking across to the hillside on the other side of the valley

This is Graham. :o) Thanks Anna.

We had a nice day today weatherwise, made up for yesterday. Blue skies all day, no clouds, but still a cool breeze coming from the south this time, I thought southerlies were supposed to be warm. I sat in the front porch and ate my salad for tea tonight though and it was really hot, out of the wind. Round the back, it was 9c or about 48f I think that is at 7 oclock. There's only one thing wrong with sitting in my porch eating my tea (apart from the smell that is, where Snuffles is using the area as a toilet as well as he feeding place!) and that is NOISE! I would love to sit there and listen to the birds, but the trouble with summer is there is always someone, somewhere, within earshot cutting their grass. Wouldn't it be lovely if there was a law that everyone had to cut their grass at the same time, say give them two different days/times, and then it was illegal to do it any other time.

I was also thinking about what is the worst invention of my lifetime. It has to be, without a shadow of a doubt, in-car music systems. Be it radio, cd player or cassette. Ban them I say. Why do people, and I use the term losely, think that everyone wants to hear their boom boxes two streets away? I have the misfortune to live in direct line with a Spar Shop, but it's in the next street. All the local kids hang about outside on a nice evening, various souped up cars come and go, each with a varying volume of boom boom boom, but they all have the same effect on my window frames and my temper. I want to kill them all. Anti-social behaviour. Yes, I was young once, and I played music in my car, still do sometimes too, but I'm bloody sure it can't be heard 100 yards away. Poor people who live either side of the shop. The other night, at midnight, I let my dog out for a wee, and I could hear this droning noise. I walked down the end of the cul de sac in me slippers and looked up to the main road, and there was an AA breakdown truck parked up with his headlights on, engine running, and cab light on. He appeared to be looking at a map from what I could see from down here. He was there for over 20 minutes. Right outside someone's bedroom window, literally 6 feet away from their window. Presumably they were either out, deaf, or are far more tolerant than I. I know I have a problem with being oversensitive to things, noise and smells being the main ones. These people who leave their engines running whilst they go in the shop not only grate on my nerves with the noise, but also leave a stench of diesel fumes too. The whole joy of living in a country village to me was the fresh air. No more, its non-stop traffic coming through here nowadays. They did a count last year, a traffic census, and from 6 am to 6 pm, 6,000 vehicles passed the checkpoints, 5,900 of them I think were just through traffic. I wish to god we could have a by-pass.

Oh well that's enough moaning for today I suppose. I haven't done an awful lot, laid my four slabs on the feeding area and levelled up some of the others a bit better now I had some more sand. Took Emma to Henllan again, it was lovely down there today, I didn't bother with the camera, I took so many before. All the bluebells were out and the smell was gorgeous. I also spotted some shoals of tiny little fish, right in the warm water in the shallow bit. Amazing how they can spot you near the bank, and disappear instantly. I reckon there must have been around 500 or so, and in a flash - gone! Emma had lots of paddles, she still has wet ears even now!

There's definitely something strange going on with the blackbirds. Still not seen a baby or a hen for days, but two males were round the back this afternoon, and were allowing each other to feed without fighting. Before one was chasing off the other one. I'm getting surer by the day that something has happened to my tame hen. :( The male who was her partner sounded an alarm call earlier, and I looked and the sparrowhawk was in the tree. Strange behaviour from that too, there were some blue tits above it, not hiding, making a lot of noise, but it didn't attempt to get them, it was kind of climbing around from branch to branch, but then it saw me and flew off.

Can't think of anything else for now, so I'm going to concentrate on American Idol for a while. Oh yeah, I downloaded episode 20 of the 2nd season of Lost overnight last night, and watched it first thing this morning, and all I can say is WOW! Fan-bloody-tastic. I am still shell-shocked, can't believe what happened at the end. Roll on next Thursday!

Had a busy day today. Well the last three days really. I don't have many visitors, in fact my friend Pat is the only other person who has set food in here (apart from the electric meter reader man) for almost three months. Today I had both her and my only other friend Irene here at the same time! Irene hasn't been here this year I don't think, I have been to see her a couple of times. She used to be my neighbour when I was with Barry, she has the smallholding on the other side of the lane to where we lived. So it was nice to see her anyway, and she has met Pat before, but she hadn't met Ben, was very taken with him (Ben's the black lab) Irene has two chocolate Labs, and she breeds from them to make a few pennies.

After they had all gone, I shot down into town and got some supplies from Morrisons! Had run out of vital things like yoghurts, grapes, apples, cheese. I also went to Focus and got another 4 patio slabs and 1 bag of sand (half of what I need) but thought it would be better to do it gradually, rather than cripple myself again carrying the lot. The bag of sand is plonked on top of my front wall now, and the slabs are still in the boot, because it's pissing with rain, and almost dark. To say I am fed up with the weather would be an understatement. According to the online BBC forecast (and it is still showing it at this moment - http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml?id=3342 ) we have unbroken sunshine for today. Ha bloody ha. I think it actually may have forced it's way through the black cloud for about half an hour this morning. Other than that, its been various shades of black or grey all day. It was raining first thing, it rained about 11 oclock, and just after I'd finished cutting the grass at 6 oclock, it started pissing down, and has been ever since. It's almost dark an hour early, had to have the lights on since 7 oclock. Why oh why can't they get it bloody right! It has been warm, granted, it was 15c or 60f in old money outside at teatime, but hardly tropical was it? We never, ever, get as good weather as it's supposed to be here.

I noticed one thing today on the way back from town - everywhere is yellow. Spring must be a yellow time of year. Every field that hasn't been heavily grazed round here is a mass of yellow flowers - not celandines or meadow buttercups either, but dandelions! Thousands and thousands of dandelions, all the verges are covered in them too, I've never seen so many. Of course there are still loads of daffodils too, and the gorse is all in flower - yellow flowers, and primroses everywhere too, yellow again. Wonder why? Must be something to do with attracting insects or something?

Not much else to report, nothing on tv again tonight, got to go and shut my birds in now, before it gets completely black. Still no sign of my blackbirds, I am very worried about what has happened to them.

As anticipated, I am a right raspberry today, after all that lifting and digging yesterday. (Erm rhyming slang - raspberry ripple - cripple) I ache all over, can't hardly move, and have felt completely and utterly useless today. I get so frustrated now that I can't do anything without suffering after, it never seems to hurt much at the time. My sciatica is having a field day today. I am also in one of my funny moods, where I don't want to talk to anyone, and go out of my way to avoid doing so. I took Emma to a place that I have posted about and photographed intensely on here before, my favourite quiet place by the river, specifically though because by going later (couldn't even summon up the energy until after 3 oclock) I doubted that there would be anyone else there and I was right. I really needed to go to Focus and get some slabs and sand, but couldn't face it in Carmarthen on a Bank Holiday. So I shall have to look at the black weed block flapping around for a couple more days. I did lay some more weed block this morning, I have decided another 8 slabs and two bags of sand will do it, as I found two more slabs here that I could use. I don't think I could have lifted anything today without collapsing in a heap. Oh and Boo, in answer to your comment from yesterday, I do have a wheelbarrow, in fact I have two, and a sack-barrow. But trying to get through two gates and up a 1 in 3 slope is harder than actually carrying them individually I have found from past experience. In fact, I will take a photo of my slope and post it here, not sure if it will show just how bad it is in a photo, but anyhow. Oh yeah, where was I, I didn't want to speak to anyone today, I have funny days like that, and I was horrified when I pulled into the cul-de-sac to see one of my neighbours outside, so can you believe what I did? I pulled out again and drove round the block for 10 minutes, and prayed he'd be gone when I came back, and he was! I really am mental, because I get on well with him and always have a chat, but I just didn't want to spoil my vow of silence today. The other next door neighbour's son spoilt it the other day too, else I would have managed it on Saturday. He was over cutting her grass, and I waited and waited hoping he'd be gone from the front garden, but in the end I gave up, and had to speak to him on my way to the car!

It's bloody freezing here today, I've gone from walking around in a t-shirt the other day to two sweatshirts and a jacket! Stupid weather in this country. The wind is bitter, and the sun only came out about lunchtime, else it was just grey and horrible again.

Bird-wise, on my walk I was stopped in my tracks by an unusual call from overhead, and looked up into the fir-tree branches to see a nest and along the branch a little further was a newly fledged Thrush, all spotty and cute with a fluffy head still. So there were still some in the nest calling. The little one looked at me suspiciously with his head cocked on one side, and then I saw Mummy (or Daddy) and it was a Mistle Thrush. Don't see many of them around, lovely birds. Otherwise it was just the normal tits, woodpigeons and blackbirds. Oh that reminds me, I awoke this morning at around 7am to the sound of woodpigeon cooing, he must have been on my overhead power lines, made me smile, it reminds me so much of when I was a kid in Folkestone, we were surrounded by the North Downs and corn fields, trees,and reservoirs, a truly wonderful place and could always hear the woodies calling. I was so very lucky as a youngster, but you don't appreciate it at the time. I'd love to live somewhere like that now, but of course, it doesn't exist any more, progress means the M20 motorway runs right through where I spent my childhood, and the approach road for the channel tunnel, and railway sidings. :(

I was also brought wide awake with a jump around 3 am too with a loud clap of thunder. I forgot about that last night when I was speaking to my mum on the phone about 6 oclock we had a lightening flash, but nothing else happened apart from the rain of course.

I've been having some very vivid dreams lately since I've been on these pills, last night I was dreaming about Alan Titchmarsh, (I used to have quite a thing about him and was trying to think up all sorts of ways to meet him, lol - I'm over him now btw) I don't know what brought him back into my mind though, can't think of any triggers for that. I also had another one early morning about my Bouncer (the little tame Robin who has disappeared) I was holding him in my hands as he died, and I was crying my eyes out. That's obviously triggered by the sick greenfinch yesterday. When I woke up, I had been crying for real, my eyes were all bloodshot and gungy. :o(

I've just seen a bluetit looking in the nest box which is above the living room window, hope he decides it's a desres. Oh and I looked at Snuffles in his box this morning, as he was making a lot of noise, scuffling around, he's made his nest a lot fuller, I wonder if he's been feeling chilly, it has been cold here at night still.

Oh well, best get on with something I suppose, the front grass needs cutting again, it's only been about 4 days since I did it I think, and the guinea pigs need cleaning out, and my hamster will too later, and I still haven't done the bird shed...

I've taken some pictures but will have to try and publish them later, it's having none of it at the moment, page is freezing for about 5 minutes and then getting the error message. I suppose there are too many people on at this time of night.

The slope looking up the garden toward the kitchen, taken from the dividing gate between my front and side garden (note the nosey chickens coming to see what I was doing! )

The slope looking down the garden from the kitchen end.

My new patio area - Boo are you sure you envy my diy skills now! lol. It looked level when I was up there, but in fairness, I wanted it to slope downward and away from my aviary. It used to lay there in a big puddle how it was before.

The bench that I cuprinoled the other day, it's in a lovely sunny area now, a place that gets sun nearly all daylong (that's when it's not raining of course... )